There’s been an absence of activity here at worship. vintage21.com in the past month. This has been due mainly to the health of our three month-old daughter. She has severe reflux, and none of the normal treatments and medicines have any affect. While still healthy and gaining weight, she throws up often, and it keeps her from sleeping, and a great deal of time she cries in pain. As you can imagine, day and night of this wears on my wife and I. Therefore, my time at work has been focused on the essential components to keep the ministry moving and Sunday service running smoothly, and I’ve taken time to help my wife and daughters. Your prayers are appreciated.
Because this is a blog about worship, I’ll share a bit from that angle. This time of little sleep, constant crying from that poor little girl, and dealing with a strong-willed two year-old has brought about a great deal of crying out to God. Through my prayers it’s become clear that my view of God in my head is different from that in my heart. While I write on this blog and speak to others about God’s love for us, his acts and nature that “call for songs of loudest praise”, and the work of the Holy Spirit in leading us to worship God, my heart in this difficult time has revealed itself to be self-centered. My view of God is one of entitlement, based on a system of religion in which my works yield a result, and when that fails I grow angry and lose heart. To be honest, it’s frustrating and sad that my worship of God is so weak, and that worship of myself is so strong. It’s also caused me to realize that our corporate gatherings are so lukewarm because at the core, many people are like me – our view of God is wrong, and we’re like those Paul writes about in Romans 1:21,
“For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him…”
I was struck by the end of that verse, and pray that it would not be the path of my life in this time, or the end result of our church:
“…but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.”
Keeping the gospel of Jesus Christ constant in all we do as followers of Christ is not an option. Not only preaching the word, but obeying as well. Otherwise, we’re not actually followers of Christ, and our foolish hearts will become darkened.
Thank you, God, for your mercy and patience in the process of sanctification.
Matt Stevens is the Worship Pastor for Vintage21 Church in Raleigh, North Carolina. Contact him via Twitter: @MattStevensNC
If God allows us to suffer to draw us closer to Him, then even when we think we have it all figured out, I believe God will throw some suffering in the mix just to keep us humble and to keep us from getting comfortable and prideful in our faith. We always have more to learn, and more to grow into and if you’re strong enough, I think He kicks it up a notch sometimes.
I think that little girl is such a blessing, beyond what you realize. :)
Good thoughts, Prin. She definitely is a blessing!
-Matt